Not So Secret, Secret: What Happens When Women Attack Each Other’s Looks

Call me crazy, but it just seems like females have been (and still are) super likely to jump on each other for the dumbest things.

I took a break during work today, and watched this clip from The Real.

They’re right. As women, we do attack each other and use our looks for ammo when we’re upset. Especially when we’re arguing with another woman.

When I hosted my own afternoon show on a local radio station, I used to get calls – strictly from women – who would complain about my voice. Yep. They actually took the time out of their day to call the radio station and tell me to my ear that I “sounded like I was yelling” and was too enthusiastic. Were they having a bad day? Did they actually hate me? Were they jealous? It could’ve been all of the above.

A man never did this to me. In fact, if he called the radio station at all, he was more likely to bitch about the music. Period. Fact.

Why do we do this to each other, ladies? Well, I’ve got a few ideas…

I think we as women are so conditioned to believe that our worth and valuable stem from our looks and material investments. If we look good to others (and no, I’m not including ourselves – although that should be what matters), we’re secure. If we “don’t look good,” we internalize it and take it personally. So, naturally, if we’re “going for the jugular” when we’re in a fight with another lady, we go to what we think will “hurt them the most.” For most women, that’s criticism of our looks.

So, ladies, if you’re reading this, I ask you to calm down. I mean Taylor Swift style CALM DOWN.

Attacks against each others’ looks (which are so fragile to begin with) are not only asinine, but provide no logic within an argument. Looks can win you a beauty pageant or a boyfriend, but they can’t help you verbally prove your point in an intelligent manner.

This holiday season, I challenge you to befriend another woman and mean it. Lift each other up. Defend them if they need it.

Let’s be aware of this behavior and put a stop to it. Life isn’t a competition. It truly is a crazy journey, and we’re all on different ones.

Be better.

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