I’ll try and answer, “why can’t I get to the gym?” for $500, Alex.

A lot of us say, every new year, “I’m going to work out more!” Some of us even stick with it for a month or two. Some of us stick with it longer.

I’m here to admit that if you’re not one of those people, you’re not alone.

In my head, I wanted 2019 to be my year. I was going into the gym on January 2nd, come hell or high water. That didn’t happen. It’s January 8th, and I’m writing this piece in a coffee shop instead of being at the gym. It still hasn’t happened.

So, why haven’t I gotten myself to the gym yet? Well, I don’t really know. I have theories and guesses. Are they excuses? Maybe? Are they honest? Yep.

I haven’t gone to the gym because; my car battery was shot for a portion of last week and I was scared to drive it, I’ve been putting the needs of my family and others before my own, I’m scared that I won’t see the results I want to, and I’m uncomfortable with taking time out for myself. I really just haven’t told myself that it’s okay to go to the gym and turn the world off for an hour – and I’ve gotta be honest here, I don’t know how to let that go.

I wish that there was some magic potion that I could drink that would get me excited about working out and taking care of myself, but that doesn’t exist.

I want to go to the gym for two reasons: I want to be in shape, I want to start my day with a clear mind, and I want to be able to hike with my husband. I feel incredibly guilty that something is blocking me from doing those things.

It’s my hope that at least getting this out of my system will take away some of that guilt. Do you feel the same way?